Last Days As An Only Child

Dear Emmett,
Tonight I did something I have not done in years: I sang you to sleep. I've never gotten around to learning the usual lullaby's, so I sang several of the nursery/primary songs that I used to sing every night for the first year of your life.
Sad to say, you are not used to them nor did you recognize them, you actually tried to "shush" me a couple of times during the first verse, but I kept singing and stroking your hair, and you eventually settled down.
I often look at old pictures of you on my phone and I truly wonder where those years went. You LOVE looking at the pictures on my phone, but when I show you "baby Emmett" pictures you don't recognize that you are looking at yourself, you just think it's another baby.
It is now 6 days until we get to meet your baby brother Grey, and your life is about to be turned upside down. You're always on the lookout for crying babies wherever we go, and you're quick to put any new "baby things" we buy right into the nursery, but I don't think it's quite hit you that one of those is going to be living with us permanently.
I know you are going to love this new baby. It will be difficult sharing all the attention, yes, but I want you to know that I will never stop loving you as fiercely as I do now. As a matter of fact, for the first 2 years of your life I didn't think I would ever have another child because I didn't think I could love him or her as much as I loved you.
Well, it turns out I will learn how to love both of you just the same, and I'm looking forward to having two precious little boys to love and cherish for the rest of my life.

You have actually spent the past 4 days at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Los Fresnos, and for that amount of time I didn't know what to do with myself. The house seemed so quiet, the evenings so pointless, and since we didn't have a little boy to put to sleep at 8pm we stayed up until midnight for no good reason. I spent all those days wishing I could hold you close and hug you, but once you came home you had zero interest in cuddling... you actually went and hugged Venom instead of me.
Singing you to sleep tonight was truly a precious moment that I will not forget, it reminded me that you are and will forever be my first baby boy.
Love you forever, sweetheart!
-Mom

Always Playing Catch-Up, Jan 2018

My goal this year is to document your life better thru this blog by posting an update at least once a month. Blogging came a lot easier before you were born, but since then all I've done is take countless pictures. Maybe one day I will post them all chronologically, but for now, the best I can do is start at January 2018 and move on from here.

January 5
I was particularly tired on this day, and you (as usual) had an enormous amount of energy. We took a bunch of selfies on my phone at around 10:30, notice how you were already in your pjs. Our different skin tones make it difficult to get a good picture together... they just don't balance right. It's a good thing you look so much like me, or else they'd never take us for a mother-son duo.

January 12 - 14
You and I took a loooong trip to visit dad in Lake Charles, Louisiana where he'd been working for exactly 1 year. The drive there took about 8 hours, but I got minimal complaints from you, which suprised me (Thank You!). We had a great family weekend, especially at the Children's Museum where everything was Emmett-friendly. I think your favorite part was brushing giant teeth and the bubble room, where you got to be inside a giant soap bubble. Oh, and the pool-noodle forest, dad chased you in and out of it several times.
That same day you discovered bubble baths. You packed 3 travel-sized shampoo bottles and used up an entire one each night, filling the hotel tub with bubbles. Your excitement was contagious.

January 20
We took another weekend trip to see Grandma in Los Fresnos, which is always a fun thing for you. It was cold outside, so Venom slept in the laundry room. Here you both are on the couch we covered up so dog hair wouldn't get on it.

January 27
Dad came for a visit! We've been seeing a lot of dad lately, and we are getting used to it. My business makes me shop A LOT, and you always come with me and behave very well in the shopping cart. When dad is around it's a whole other story, you both were playing with the bouncy balls at Walmart.

NOT Your Last Bottle

Dear Emmett, 

You are currently 17 months old and you have just fallen asleep next to me. Over the past 6 months we have shared a bed due to your sudden extreme fright of cribs when you turned 1, and I don't know if we can ever go back to crib sleeping again. Over the past few months your nighttime routine has changed drastically. At the beginning it took us HOURS of fighting with you, holding you and singing, rocking and walking, rocking and feeding, or any combination of those things. I don't mean anything bad by it, but you are NOT an easy baby. Sorry dear. These days bedtime is usually (usually) a little easier, especially when you have had a long day and a full stomach. After your bath I put you in pjs and you'll crawl over to your side of the bed, grab your blanket, and snuggle your face into it. Then I'll come drape it over you, you'll cocoon yourself face down, and fall asleep. Only about 30% of our nights go like this, but that's better than nothing! Tonight was a little extra because in between pjs and cocooning I gave you half a bottle of milk and you actually sat on my lap and drank it! Ever since we introduced the sippy cup you have mostly weaned yourself off the bottle, and you're not big on milk, so it's rare for you to agree to drink any amount of milk at nighttime. Tonight was such a surprise that I had to write about it, and it sort of made me melancholic because I have no idea how many of these bottle feedings are left between us! What if tonight was the last one?!! I am SO not ready to give up my little baby, yet every day you prove how much you are a little boy now, and no longer a baby. 

There are moments I wish could stretch forever, tonight was definitely one of them. 

I love you endlessly my boy. 

-Mom 

Lullaby Baby, Lullaby Dear

After a 3-hour battle to get you to sleep (Emmett vs Mom & Grandparents) you have finally dosed off   In my arms as I rocked you and sang your lullaby (for the fourth time this hour). It's almost midnight and we both have a long day tomorrow, so I should probably set you down and go to bed. All I can think about, however, is how my arms don't remember your weight and feel when you were 1 month old, or 3 months old, or 6 months old. You and I hardly fit in this rocking chair anymore, and over time my arms have molded to whatever size you needed them to, but oh how I wish more than anything to hold you as a little baby again. We have spent hundreds of hours in this rocking chair, yet somehow it is not enough. It's never enough. You grow every day, and I don't want to set you down because I know that one day I will be wishing to remember what you felt like at 14 months. I'm just not ready for the day when I'll have to stop rocking you altogether, baby boy. We are both exhausted, yet I wish this night would last forever.
With all my heart,
Momma.

13 Months

- 28 pounds
- 32.5 inches
- no longer has milk protein allergy! yay!
- spent most of his 12th month with a cold and then an ugly ear infection :(
- has 5 teeth and more on their way
- said his first word at the 13th month mark "Duck!" (got some rubber duckies for Xmas, which he loves)
- finally started walking when holding someone's hand (also happened right at 13 months)
- does not want to leave his pacifier, bottle, or infant formula (won't drink whole milk by itself)
- eats anything he sees you eat besides avocado
- hates hates hates hates his crib... co-sleeping is a thing now
- his apetite was off for a month, but it's back with a vengance... now he eats twice as much
- looking a little slimmer, still in 24-month clothes and size 4 diapers
- absolutely adores grandpa Elio
- gets very upset at being put down
- is learning to throw temper tantrums
- had a great Christmas full of gifts, yet his favorites are still tupperware and rubber duckies
- loves spashing in the bathtub
- got his third haircut
- still very photogenic
- favorite games are Peek-a-boo, Patty-cake, tickle fights, and playing Hide-and-Seek with grandma
- learns something new every day
- and most importantly, is surrounded by love, care, and people who dote on him

One Year Old!

- 99 percentile for weight (even though he's looking pretty slim now)
- 99 percentile for head circumference
- 95 percentile for height (still much taller than most of his friends)
- has 3 teeth and more on the way judging by how much he drools and bites his hands
- wears 24 month and 2T clothing
- is scared of balls (we blame Venom)
- was not interested in any of his birthday presents
- plays with "grown up" toys such as pens, anything he finds in cabinets, keys, and opening and closing doors
- responds to commands such as "no", "come here", and "give me"
- points at things he wants or holds out hands when he hurts them
- waves to be picked up, sometimes waves goodbye
- claps his hands
- loves piggy pack rides and holds on to hair
- refuses to walk or take steps even with holding someone's hand
- adores all grandparents
- has an extremely hard time falling asleep
- likes to feed himself
- his favorite way to play is putting things into containers and taking them out again, any container will do

11 Months Old

- Very colicky, takes hours to fall asleep every night, and wakes up crying most nights
- Needs to be cradled and rocked to sleep
- Very mommy attached, hardly ever wants dad
- Pulls himself up everywhere but still can't stand on his own
- Crawls super fast, opens drawers, cabinets, and anything within reach
- First tooth broke thru TODAY at 11 months.
- Losing interest in baby food and bottles.
- Immediately removes socks and shoes
- Hates loose clothing
- Mostly sleeps face down, butt up
- Slimming down! Shorts and pants that didn't fit 3 weeks ago now fit perfectly.
- Clothing ranges from stretched-out 12 month onesies to the occasional 2T outfit
- Babbles and screams all day long, but louder when he's tired
- Getting along better with Venom now that he doesn't pull his hair so hard
- Hates diaper changes, clothing changes, feedings, being strapped into the car seat, hugs, and anything else which requires him to stay still for longer than 2 seconds.
- Has random "happy hours" where he laughs at everything

First Birthday: A Letter To My Baby Boy

Dear Emmett,
I constantly remember our first conversation on the day you were born. You had been passed around for pictures and hugs for at least an hour, and I was too exhausted to do anything about it. I was also extremely shy about holding you... I had no idea how to do it! What was I supposed to do with my arms and hands? A nurse ushered everyone out and placed you, all bundled up and very quiet, in the crook of my left arm. I didn't move or adjust you because everything felt so awkward and I didn't want to hurt you, all I could do was stare and stare. After several minutes of quiet, I shily whispered "Hello baby, I'm so glad to finally meet you." and then you responded in the most beautiful way, a tiny little squeak that sounded exactly like "Hi." Instant tears came to my eyes and I asked "Did you just say hi to me?" and your response was "Yes." Those are the two first sounds I remember you making... strangely, I don't remember the sound of your wailing cry at the moment of your birth. (Although I can picture it clearly)

It's so hard to believe that it's been a year since that conversation, and that we've had thousands of them since then. We have been together for all of our "firsts" and I still can't get enough of them, no matter how small and inconsequential. All I can say is how grateful I am to have such a perfect little partner to share my firsts with, even if this year was a whirlwind of parenting mistakes. I became increasingly panicked as the day of your birth loomed closer and you would be exposed to this big ole world. I was so afraid of hurting you because you'd be frail and tiny. Boy you proved me wrong. From the second you were placed on my stomach I felt your strength: 9 pounds of bold, fierce life, and I quickly learned that "frail and tiny" would never be adjectives to describe you.

There are so many things I love about you, but I think my favorite is that you have somehow found 365 ways to make me smile and laugh, and you are finding more every day. We have our ups and downs, of course... my inexperience paired with your extreme energy and stubbornness isn't always an easy match, but I can surely tell you one thing: I have loved every second of every day with you in my life.